Birthday Thoughts

If my dad were still alive, it would have been his birthday today-- he would have been 90.

There are some people you meet whom it's difficult to picture as "old," ever. My dad was one of those people. He actually dies shortly after my 18th birthday, so I never got to know him much "as an adult," but I still struggle to visualize him as "old."

Other people it's easy to picture as "old." In fact, there are people walking around out there who may be biologically in their 30's, but they are already old. There's a lot ot be said for that old truism "Age is a state of mind."

Memories are often a source of inspiration for me. Perhaps not directly... but I send up thinking about things that happened in a distant past, and then I move onto "I wonder where they/it is now?" and then research with Google follows... and along the way I end up getting distracted into various sidetracks and rabbit holes... and then a new idea builds from there. Or-- at least-- old ideas get turned over and looked at from new angles.

My dad was a corporate executive, and most of the time it struck me that he was pretty much a "thinking" (rather than "artistic") type of person... that said. he did find some creative expression in restoring old furniture and paintings. In some ways, I think he would have really liked to be a "Creative Slacker," but he grew up during a time-- and in a family-- where entertaining such thoughts were pretty much unthinkable.

Keeping Notes of Ideas

I have long been "scribbling notes" every time I get an idea, and I am not somewhere where I can act on that idea in the moment.

Come to think of it, 95% of my ideas for writing come at moments when I am nowhere near the computer-- so I always carry scraps of paper and a pen or pencil with me, wherever I go. When something "comes up," I pause for a moment and scribble... and then go back to what I was doing.

All the notes end up on my desk, and then get sorted "by topic" into a box... eventually.

The "problem" with this kind of system is that I never seem to find the time to actually sit down and make the number of notes in the box diminish.

On the upside, I do manage to sort things out from time to time... and I often discover that (over a period of years) the same basic ideas come up, over and over. And that's a good sign that I should probably take the time to develop them further.

On the downside, a lot of ideas come up "in the heat of the moment," and I end up sitting at my desk, contemplating what I was actually thinking, when I wrote the note in the first place. WHY did I think that was such a great idea? No idea...

I guess it's just part and parcel of being a frustrated writer that I never have time enough to sit down and develop my ideas when they come up. I easily have enough material for three articles (or more) per DAY... but I don't have the time to do anything with them. "Time," of course, is a nebulous concept... the truth is that I don't have the money to take the day of (every day!) to develop my ideas...

Words from a Spanish Bedroom

I went back to Spain, last month.

Even though I am actually Danish, I spent my teen years in Spain, after my mother entered a relationship with a semi-retired Englishman who had put down roots in the south of Spain.

Last month-- for the first time in several years-- I went to Spain to visit my mom and stepdad. It was a strange experience because it is so long since I have been there. My parents lived in Phoenix for seven months of the year till 2005, and this is the first time I have gone to Spain to see them, since they've moved back there.

The point of bringing this up is that I pretty much "learned to write," when we moved to Spain. At the very least, it was the time when I started being serious about keeping a journal and writing "observations" about what was going on around me. I would buy these big fat red journal books and write all sorts of things in them. I was 14, at the time... and when I think back on those days, one of the primary reasons I would write so much was that I had very little else to do. We lived in a retirement area, and there were very few other people my age around... except 10 miles away.

The Spain of today looks nothing like the Spain of my teen years. I could as well be on the coast in Southern California, as Spain. But even so, it still has the same "deadness" I felt, when I was a kid... this sense that all the people around me were there mostly "waiting to die."

Writing was an "escape" of sorts. It was a ways to visualize-- through words on a page-- and "experience" the kind of growing up I was not experiencing. Maybe that sounds sad or depressing, but I was actually pretty hopeful, in its own way...

Monthly Report: May 2008

Well, it's time for another monthly update.

My sources seem a bit scattered. Yes, some comes from AdSense. And basically, my income from HubPages comes from the AdSense account I attached to that. What's a bit depressing about that is that since AdSense doesn't pay out till my account balance reaches $100, it could be five years (or more!) before I get paid.

I have been writing a bit about my efforts on Helium, this month. One thing I don't much care for with that site is that it really doesn't have very good "reporting" utilities.

If I want to see my traffic and income for last month, that can't be done. There's a "month to date" report, but unless you sit there with "your finger on the trigger" at the last moment of the month, you can't use it. You have to get to $25.00 before you can cash out, anyway... so retrieving numbers would mainly be so I could share them here.

I haven't really mentioned that I write at Gather, either... mostly because that side rewards you with "points," rather than cash. Sure, you can exchange your "points" for Amazon Gift cards which are "same as cash" but I've decided not to include that here.

Anyway, I'm going to stick to what I can directly track to my efforts. In May 2008, income from AdSense was $0.85, coming from 578 page impressions. Not exactly breaking any records here...

Helium, Part 2

There are too many things I really don't like, about Helium.

For one, I don't like that I can't edit my articles. I realize you don't get to edit newspaper or magazine articles either... but it's just annoying.

I don't care for the whole "ratings game," either. In order to earn, you have to rate articles. I can see the point of that-- to a degree-- but it sets up the site to be "internally sourced." What I mean is... where is the traffic from search engines? Besides... the site really doesn't "make sense." I mean, who exactly is going to be interested in reading 43 articles on the same topic? It seems a bit weird, to me.

Then there's the inflexible titles. I can't just write about things I want to write about... on Helium, you have to write to a writing prompt. It feels very "high school," to me.

I just don't think I have it in me to write a bunch of prose about things I am really not that interested in. I've been on Helium since late 2007, and my enthusiasm is definitely waning.

Helium, Part 1

Nothing is "easy."

I now have about 25 articles posted to the Helium site, but I don't really get the impression that anyone ever looks at them... or at least not enough people that it's ever going to turn into a revenue stream of any significance.

I was enthusiastic for a while, somewhat spurred on by posts in the "Success Stories" area of the Helium user forums, where some people were reporting making "quite a bit." But-- in retrospect-- they were relentlessly entering "contests" and some seemed to have over 1000 articles posted. I just don't feel like I have the ability to write that much.

For the most part, I don't even know were they get the time.

As I continue examining my efforts, it seems increasingly evident that I am far more (or perhaps "too" is a better word) concerned with creating really high quality content than most online writers. I struggle with this feeling that these "high volume" writers are producing (what feels to me) like pretty mediocre work, and yet they are considered by many as being "among the BEST."

Of course, I must publicly confess that I have struggled with perfectionism, for about as long as I have lived. I'm almost 40 years into my writing "career" and I have NEVER received a rejection slip on account of my work "not being up to our writing standards." Lots of other reasons, but not that one. And I do know lots of writers who are primarily rejected because their work is crap.

Something to think about.

Monthly Report: April 2008

"The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel."
~Steve Furtick

I have always related to the above quote because it reminds me of the way we compare ourselves to-- and typically fall short of-- other people's success stories. We learn about "writing online for money" and then read about someone who has monetized their blog to the tune of $10,000.00 a month and we go "oh wow!"

I've already been doing this gig for about 10 years, and whereas these grand result may be true... they are only true for 1-in-50,000 who start down this road.

Most almost all writers' results are more modest negligible.

And for that same reason, they stop.

"Well, I thought at least I'd be able to make $1,000 a month!" they say, at the end of their 6th month of making $8.77.

Anyway, this being "The Lazy Writer's Blog," I thought I would start publishing candid monthly updates, neither hiding anything nor "exaggerating,"

You know, "just the facts, ma'am."

So, without further ado, the results from the month of April 2008 were as follows:

Ad revenue from Google Adsense: $0.59.

No, I'm being dead serious, here. This is the sum total from last month. I guess there's no place to go but "up," from here. Stay tuned for future reports!

Of course, as I start expanding my horizons and writing on other "revenue sites," those will be added in.

How I Admire those... Ambitious Writers

There is a part of me that envies those writers who seem to be "making it" by having blogs, web sites, articles and content "all over creation."

I wonder where they get the energy to do all that.

One of my challenges in becoming a "serious" writer is (and always has been) that I generally lack the ambition and drive to create a lot of content. It's not that I am lacking in ideas... I'm just not a very "energetic" person, and I really never was.

On some level, I feel slightly envious of those who are able to do all these things.

I have a lot of viable ideas, and I often feel like I could be "One Of Them" if only I had the stick-to-it-iveness to carry my plans to completion. For example, I had some really nice ambitions for my Inner Reflections web site... but I have barely managed to get the "HSP Section" completed, and it's a constant struggle to not make the site look perpetually abandoned and out-of-date.

Of course-- in complete fairness-- I've never had the financial wherewithall to be able to just "take a month" to do nothing but create a "writing empire." I'm lucky if I can "afford" to steal 20 minutes now and then to write a short blog post like this one. So I guess what I am really envious of is being able to feel something other than "totally exhausted" when I have completed the daily task of "making the money to pay for electricity and food."

I expect what holds many writers back is precisely the fact that writing is so often a "long term" income proposition... you "write now" and then gradually get paid over a long period of time. That's both the beauty-- and drawback-- of royalty income.

The Lazy Writer's Journal

Maybe this blog is really going to end up being a sort of "Lazy Writer's Journal."

The thing is, I'm really a very lazy person.

Don't get me wrong, I love to write! But once I get a few words (basically "an idea") down "on paper," I just kinda lose interest. I guess I live under the delusion that somehow the words should now just "get legs" and start doing something, on their own... with little to no effort on my behalf.

One of the things that always felt so appealing about writing was the concept of "royalties" and "residuals." Not because I harbored any illusions that I would ever become rich from my words, but because I love the idea of "passive" income. More specifically, because I don't really have that much personal discipline... I love the idea of "not working tomorrow..." if I don't feel like it.

As I said, I am really a very lazy person.

To wit, I started this blog a couple of years ago, and I really haven't "done" anything with it. But the more I keep thinking about it, the more I keep thinking I should turn it into a chronicle of sorts... for those of us who like writing and would love to make a little money for our efforts... yet are not "driven," like some people are.

And so, I will make this the "starting marker" of this plan... and we'll just see what happens.

I am going to start using photos, too. Because photos rock. And make things prettier... or at least more "visually interesting."

I Just Like Writing

I have been a writer since I was quite little.

By "writer," I mean that my most eloquent-- and preferred-- form of expression is the written word.

I often get taken to task because I don't have a "theme;" a field of expertise that I write about. And it's true, I'm all over the map, writing about whatever idea pops into my head. Which goes a long way toward explaining (perhaps) why I am writing a lot, but am not (for example) "A Published Author."

Well.

That, and an excessive fondness for using quotes, parentheses and the ellipsis...

Bottom line is that I write because I simply like writing. I'm not trying to accomplish some kind of "goal," I'm trying to express myself. Or formulate an idea.

Maybe it's ADD-ish.
Concept of the day: "Writer's ADD."

I was a technical writer, for some years. I more or less gave it up because "writing to order" bored me. A number of people insisted that tech writing is "creative," because the presentation of specific information in a readable format was-- somehow-- "artful."

Whereas I appreciate the feedback, these people clearly inhabit a different universe from my own.

txt spk and the Decline of English

Call me old-fashioned, but the whole text messaging thing is destroying the English language. At least as we know it, from a writer's perspective.

I know that some scientists are postulating that texting has genetic benefits: Our thumbs were increasingly falling into disrepair, but now video games and texting are "saving the thumbs."

Fine.

I like having thumbs, but at the cost of using real words?

"I 8 chkn 4 dnr" is NOT a sentence!

Maybe it could be argued that being limited to 160 characters per message fosters a sort of economy of language that steers people away from excess verbosity.

Fine.

I say it also fosters a sort of vocabulary shrinkage arising from the fact that people will always reach for the shortest (or most "abbreviatable" ... just made that up!) word they can find. And language will lose, as a result.

Just saying.

This is NOT "progress." This is the beginning of a regression back towards monosyllabic grunts of the cave age.

Writers and their Egos

For almost as long as I have been writing, I have been somewhat stunned by the size of the egos of writers.

Let me rephrase that.

Some writers.

Usually the not-so-good ones.

It's a bit like those people who get up and try out for American Idol. The louder they are about being "all that, and a bag of chips," typically the less actual talent they have. In fact, most of their talent seems to be in the realm of convincing people how GREAT they are, while the actual greatness is sadly lacking.

A friend of mine-- who's an editor at a literary 'zine-- has often shared that the peskiest and most annoying submitters are the ones who can't write their way out of a paper bag.

Similarly, some of the greatest writing I have read came from people who barely considered themselves "writers," and would dismiss accolades with words like "I dabble a bit, on occasion."

Makes me ponder whether we-- as human beings in all aspects of-- tend to substitute bluster and bravado for actual talent and ability.

Is this REALLY possible?

I have been exploring the possibilities offered by a couple of revenue sharing sites, HubPages, and Squidoo.

As is the case with many new things I "have to learn," I am feeling a little overwhelmed by the seeming complexity of both sites' writing interfaces. Being a writer with ADD and a tendency towards perfectionism, it can be a real struggle for me to "get started" on anything until I have a full and complete understanding of "how it works."

Part of this stems from growing up in an environment where anything that even remotely resembled "crap" (a.k.a. "less than PERFECT") was deeply frowned upon.

It's problematic for me because I tend to have quick and fleeting ideas about what I want to write about... but it takes me hours to "polish" a thought enough to feel good about releasing it to the public. And by then the idea is half gone, anyway... a bit like the way we wake up with dreams, but have forgotten most of them by the time we get to our first cup of coffee.

Anyway, I have started on HubPages... put up a few initial articles I am not unhappy about.

Writing Life: Detachment, Isolation and Involvement

As a writer-- and especially one who primarily writes through channels on the Internet-- it is easy to become detached from the "real" world. I friend recently remarked that she was feeling increasingly "lost" when she had to go "out in the world," in connection with her job. Indeed, it can be one of the major challenges of web-based entrepreneurs (herunder: Writers) to manage the sense of isolation that sometimes accompanies work that puts us in front of the computer for 8-10 hours a day.

For at least a couple of years, I have increasingly been working on "staying involved" in outside life. I think what may be important to those who work at home (and especially sensitive introverts-- I am an "HSP"), is not so much to make an effort to "get out," but to be very selective in terms of how and where we get out.

For example, much of my writing is on topics relating to the self-improvement and metaphysics fields. I may not have the bandwidth to necessarily go and join some local random softball league, but I do have the bandwidth to be a participant in activities that relate directly to the people and events I read about.

Don't get me wrong. I am an introvert, and I do enjoy the writing life. However, there are also times when I just feel like I need to "get out more."