Words from a Spanish Bedroom

I went back to Spain, last month.

Even though I am actually Danish, I spent my teen years in Spain, after my mother entered a relationship with a semi-retired Englishman who had put down roots in the south of Spain.

Last month-- for the first time in several years-- I went to Spain to visit my mom and stepdad. It was a strange experience because it is so long since I have been there. My parents lived in Phoenix for seven months of the year till 2005, and this is the first time I have gone to Spain to see them, since they've moved back there.

The point of bringing this up is that I pretty much "learned to write," when we moved to Spain. At the very least, it was the time when I started being serious about keeping a journal and writing "observations" about what was going on around me. I would buy these big fat red journal books and write all sorts of things in them. I was 14, at the time... and when I think back on those days, one of the primary reasons I would write so much was that I had very little else to do. We lived in a retirement area, and there were very few other people my age around... except 10 miles away.

The Spain of today looks nothing like the Spain of my teen years. I could as well be on the coast in Southern California, as Spain. But even so, it still has the same "deadness" I felt, when I was a kid... this sense that all the people around me were there mostly "waiting to die."

Writing was an "escape" of sorts. It was a ways to visualize-- through words on a page-- and "experience" the kind of growing up I was not experiencing. Maybe that sounds sad or depressing, but I was actually pretty hopeful, in its own way...

Monthly Report: May 2008

Well, it's time for another monthly update.

My sources seem a bit scattered. Yes, some comes from AdSense. And basically, my income from HubPages comes from the AdSense account I attached to that. What's a bit depressing about that is that since AdSense doesn't pay out till my account balance reaches $100, it could be five years (or more!) before I get paid.

I have been writing a bit about my efforts on Helium, this month. One thing I don't much care for with that site is that it really doesn't have very good "reporting" utilities.

If I want to see my traffic and income for last month, that can't be done. There's a "month to date" report, but unless you sit there with "your finger on the trigger" at the last moment of the month, you can't use it. You have to get to $25.00 before you can cash out, anyway... so retrieving numbers would mainly be so I could share them here.

I haven't really mentioned that I write at Gather, either... mostly because that side rewards you with "points," rather than cash. Sure, you can exchange your "points" for Amazon Gift cards which are "same as cash" but I've decided not to include that here.

Anyway, I'm going to stick to what I can directly track to my efforts. In May 2008, income from AdSense was $0.85, coming from 578 page impressions. Not exactly breaking any records here...

Helium, Part 2

There are too many things I really don't like, about Helium.

For one, I don't like that I can't edit my articles. I realize you don't get to edit newspaper or magazine articles either... but it's just annoying.

I don't care for the whole "ratings game," either. In order to earn, you have to rate articles. I can see the point of that-- to a degree-- but it sets up the site to be "internally sourced." What I mean is... where is the traffic from search engines? Besides... the site really doesn't "make sense." I mean, who exactly is going to be interested in reading 43 articles on the same topic? It seems a bit weird, to me.

Then there's the inflexible titles. I can't just write about things I want to write about... on Helium, you have to write to a writing prompt. It feels very "high school," to me.

I just don't think I have it in me to write a bunch of prose about things I am really not that interested in. I've been on Helium since late 2007, and my enthusiasm is definitely waning.

Helium, Part 1

Nothing is "easy."

I now have about 25 articles posted to the Helium site, but I don't really get the impression that anyone ever looks at them... or at least not enough people that it's ever going to turn into a revenue stream of any significance.

I was enthusiastic for a while, somewhat spurred on by posts in the "Success Stories" area of the Helium user forums, where some people were reporting making "quite a bit." But-- in retrospect-- they were relentlessly entering "contests" and some seemed to have over 1000 articles posted. I just don't feel like I have the ability to write that much.

For the most part, I don't even know were they get the time.

As I continue examining my efforts, it seems increasingly evident that I am far more (or perhaps "too" is a better word) concerned with creating really high quality content than most online writers. I struggle with this feeling that these "high volume" writers are producing (what feels to me) like pretty mediocre work, and yet they are considered by many as being "among the BEST."

Of course, I must publicly confess that I have struggled with perfectionism, for about as long as I have lived. I'm almost 40 years into my writing "career" and I have NEVER received a rejection slip on account of my work "not being up to our writing standards." Lots of other reasons, but not that one. And I do know lots of writers who are primarily rejected because their work is crap.

Something to think about.

Monthly Report: April 2008

"The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel."
~Steve Furtick

I have always related to the above quote because it reminds me of the way we compare ourselves to-- and typically fall short of-- other people's success stories. We learn about "writing online for money" and then read about someone who has monetized their blog to the tune of $10,000.00 a month and we go "oh wow!"

I've already been doing this gig for about 10 years, and whereas these grand result may be true... they are only true for 1-in-50,000 who start down this road.

Most almost all writers' results are more modest negligible.

And for that same reason, they stop.

"Well, I thought at least I'd be able to make $1,000 a month!" they say, at the end of their 6th month of making $8.77.

Anyway, this being "The Lazy Writer's Blog," I thought I would start publishing candid monthly updates, neither hiding anything nor "exaggerating,"

You know, "just the facts, ma'am."

So, without further ado, the results from the month of April 2008 were as follows:

Ad revenue from Google Adsense: $0.59.

No, I'm being dead serious, here. This is the sum total from last month. I guess there's no place to go but "up," from here. Stay tuned for future reports!

Of course, as I start expanding my horizons and writing on other "revenue sites," those will be added in.

How I Admire those... Ambitious Writers

There is a part of me that envies those writers who seem to be "making it" by having blogs, web sites, articles and content "all over creation."

I wonder where they get the energy to do all that.

One of my challenges in becoming a "serious" writer is (and always has been) that I generally lack the ambition and drive to create a lot of content. It's not that I am lacking in ideas... I'm just not a very "energetic" person, and I really never was.

On some level, I feel slightly envious of those who are able to do all these things.

I have a lot of viable ideas, and I often feel like I could be "One Of Them" if only I had the stick-to-it-iveness to carry my plans to completion. For example, I had some really nice ambitions for my Inner Reflections web site... but I have barely managed to get the "HSP Section" completed, and it's a constant struggle to not make the site look perpetually abandoned and out-of-date.

Of course-- in complete fairness-- I've never had the financial wherewithall to be able to just "take a month" to do nothing but create a "writing empire." I'm lucky if I can "afford" to steal 20 minutes now and then to write a short blog post like this one. So I guess what I am really envious of is being able to feel something other than "totally exhausted" when I have completed the daily task of "making the money to pay for electricity and food."

I expect what holds many writers back is precisely the fact that writing is so often a "long term" income proposition... you "write now" and then gradually get paid over a long period of time. That's both the beauty-- and drawback-- of royalty income.

The Lazy Writer's Journal

Maybe this blog is really going to end up being a sort of "Lazy Writer's Journal."

The thing is, I'm really a very lazy person.

Don't get me wrong, I love to write! But once I get a few words (basically "an idea") down "on paper," I just kinda lose interest. I guess I live under the delusion that somehow the words should now just "get legs" and start doing something, on their own... with little to no effort on my behalf.

One of the things that always felt so appealing about writing was the concept of "royalties" and "residuals." Not because I harbored any illusions that I would ever become rich from my words, but because I love the idea of "passive" income. More specifically, because I don't really have that much personal discipline... I love the idea of "not working tomorrow..." if I don't feel like it.

As I said, I am really a very lazy person.

To wit, I started this blog a couple of years ago, and I really haven't "done" anything with it. But the more I keep thinking about it, the more I keep thinking I should turn it into a chronicle of sorts... for those of us who like writing and would love to make a little money for our efforts... yet are not "driven," like some people are.

And so, I will make this the "starting marker" of this plan... and we'll just see what happens.

I am going to start using photos, too. Because photos rock. And make things prettier... or at least more "visually interesting."

I Just Like Writing

I have been a writer since I was quite little.

By "writer," I mean that my most eloquent-- and preferred-- form of expression is the written word.

I often get taken to task because I don't have a "theme;" a field of expertise that I write about. And it's true, I'm all over the map, writing about whatever idea pops into my head. Which goes a long way toward explaining (perhaps) why I am writing a lot, but am not (for example) "A Published Author."

Well.

That, and an excessive fondness for using quotes, parentheses and the ellipsis...

Bottom line is that I write because I simply like writing. I'm not trying to accomplish some kind of "goal," I'm trying to express myself. Or formulate an idea.

Maybe it's ADD-ish.
Concept of the day: "Writer's ADD."

I was a technical writer, for some years. I more or less gave it up because "writing to order" bored me. A number of people insisted that tech writing is "creative," because the presentation of specific information in a readable format was-- somehow-- "artful."

Whereas I appreciate the feedback, these people clearly inhabit a different universe from my own.